7:24 PM

Day 2: Jessica's Journey to Life: Equal and One With Time


ForGIVE myself the opportunity/time to talk to myself and actually utilize my voice as an instrument of letting go of what I have valued and become. Allowing myself to actually take a point in-front of me and look at parts of the point that I have not become one and equal too, as experiencing the point vibrate within myself, equal and one, wherein there becomes a sense of nothingness of myself. Giving myself the opportunity/time to talk to myself is something I haven't fully gifted to myself. Initially, in process, talking to myself when I first came across Desteni was something I naturally did for myself in the beginning. It was the the prime point that allowed myself to actually move myself and build a stable foundation for myself - since I have been going through a lot of abuse within those around me - I have used/abused everyone around me as a justification to not move myself within the physical, wherein I'm not utilizing the family points that I face as a cool self-supportive indication if I'm, 'here,' or if I'm limiting myself through participating in the mind.

Throughout my day I participate in backchat in relation to justification of actually sounding myself through my voice. Sounding myself to actually see if there are any external resonance points that I need to look at. Backchat in relation to: When I'm participating in my daily-activities and there seems to be no time in the day to actually speak to myself.

The following backchat comes up:

"I can always do it later"
"There isn't any time to speak to myself out-loud"
"Speaking to myself out-load won't make a difference in the first place"

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to sound myself through my voice to see if there are any external points I need to look at within my resonance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my mind self-create, 'time,' as an issue, instead of realizing that I'm separating myself from time, by/through projecting blame towards, 'time,' as though I cannot discipline myself more effectively to get everything I need to do in a day, thus, enough time to talk to myself will be created.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize or understand that when I'm moulding/forming relationships with, 'time,' as a religion of self to not actually look at myself in essence and to actually see what I have become within this world/reality, wherein it has come to the point that I'm creating unconscious points of abdication towards being the Creator of my Life.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to self-realize for myself that I'm not actually allowing myself to grow, develop and expand with me and time because of consistently searching for something outside myself to preoccupy myself with to make myself feel that I'm actually prioritizing my time effectively and efficiently.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to self-realize, that in always justifying myself to never have enough time I'm in actuality not being dedicated and committed to my self-agreement with myself to always assist and support myself for what is best for all, wherein within this I'm making the statement that I'm actually not worth enough time to become a self-directive being that can slowly but surely become purified within actually voicing/sounding of/as myself.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to self-realize, that is always justifying to not move myself in the physical within sounding my voice, I'm actually self-sabotaging my own self-agreement to grow, develop and expand, thus, being an actual being that is really walking this process of and as Oneness & Equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the backchat "I can always do it later" to exist within and as me towards self-sabotaging myself to be and become a self-responsible being that can actually become trusted to effectively get tasks done, day by day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the backchat "I can always do it later" trigger justification towards when I'm participating in my daily-activities and there seems to be no time in the day to actually speak to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that sounding myself is something not on priority, so I don't have to see/realize or understand that I'm abdicating self-responsibility by participating in justification towards myself not having enough time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the backchat "I can always do it later" to exist within and as me towards myself to create justifications.

I forgive myself that I didn't accept or allow myself to tell myself in self-honesty about myself not committing myself to speaking, by/through not getting to the actual cause and creating a solution, but instead allowed myself to immediately react with the backchat "I can always so it later."

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to emotionally react through justification towards myself to actually speak out-loud on a daily-basis,  to the interconnections of the backchat "I can always do it later."

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the backchat "There isn't any time to speak to myself out-loud" to exist within and as me towards myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the backchat "There isn't any time to speak to myself out-loud" to self-direct me, instead of actually self-realizing for myself that everything is going to be faced in the end within consequence if I don't just face myself now in this moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself and my own self-agreement with myself as time from the starting-point of transference of energy, rather than actually cross-referencing points within the backchat "There isn't any time to speak to myself out-loud" and making a stable self-agreement foundation that will stand the test of time, for what is best for ALL.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into justification to try and not face my world/reality through actually seeing/realizing/understanding that I'm the Creator of my Life, thus, I make the decisions to manage my time effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the backchat "There isn't any time to speak to myself out-loud" to affect how I connect to myself for what is HERE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the backchat "There isn't any time to speak to myself out-loud" towards my world/reality by/through not self-willing myself to make the time for myself because I actually don't want to stand up and find a solution within myself to build a stable foundation, BUT look for faults in myself that I apparently can't change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the backchat "There isn't any time to speak to myself out-loud" to exist within and as me towards myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to self-realize for myself that participating in the backchat ""Speaking to myself out-load won't make a difference in the first place" is a flag-point for myself to actually see/realize and understand that when I'm allowing myself to participate in self-victimization/self-defeat, I'm actually not allowing myself to connect with myself or sound myself within myself, internally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to emotionally through justification  towards myself and time to affect myself to sound myself to freedom, within myself sounding myself to life, I'm then sounding myself to existence to finally exist in actual real peace and harmony when the actuality of reality isn't over-looked within the mind of delusion/illusion.

I realize that when justifications are not communicated to myself when I self-will myself to bring myself to sound my voice for being a voice to the voiceless, then creates internal/external conflict with myself and my reality.

I realize, that if I simply communicate openly and vulnerable with myself within self-honesty, then it would allow an actual solution for myself and my reality, instead create backchat and suppression with myself and my reality.

I realize, that I'm actually open and vulnerable with myself, then I don't have to harbour these emotions of justification to be the Creator of my Life towards myself and my reality.

I realize, that I'm expressing myself openly and completely vulnerable in self-honesty, then I can speak to myself within ease to actually communicate and be self-honest with myself and my reality, thus, creating a stable foundation for myself, as ALL as ONE, as EQUAL.

When and as I see such justifications came up about not having enough time to voice myself out-loud and actually slowly but surely purify myself as actual LIFE, I stop, I breathe, I bring myself back here, I direct myself to communicate with myself openly and completely vulnerable in self-honesty, instead of communicating in backchat that only leads to suppression and external-internal conflict for myself and my reality. Within communicating to myself for myself about committing myself to sounding my voice to see if there are any external resonance points I'm not seeing/realizing or understanding, wherein I finally allow myself to communicate as an actual EARTHLING, for the very first time.

Thank you for reading.


2 comments:

Marlen said...

Cool for taking on the point of self-communication. Let's sound ourselves till we are really here equal and one. Thanks for sharing, Jessica!

Laura Núñez Orjuela said...

Very cool Jessica Thanks

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