Day 10: Life Cannot be Found

"When one is pre occupied with knowledge --you cannot see what is here as you can only see the knowledge that occupy you -- occupied mind street?" - Bernard Poolman

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from LIFE, by/through trying to understand/attain some form of knowledge and/or understanding of LIFE but to never actually live LIFE, instead - I lost myself within knowledge to not see the actuality of this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that to LIVE in this world and reality I cannot hijack knowledge and/or understanding of LIFE to fulfill myself with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and accept that how I define LIFE from knowledge and/or understanding is real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself as LIFE to seek knowledge and/or understanding of LIFE and thereby within that separate myself from myself as well as accepting myself to continue existing in separation of losing myself to not see the actuality of this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is possible to be separate from LIFE as who I am, instead of realizing that it is only within and as the self-accepted delusion of knowledge that gives me the delusion that I’m losing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be and become LIFE as the very life essence I am from this physical reality within and as NOT believing and accepting that it is impossible to find an answer to the meaning of LIFE within knowledge and/or understanding but to actually LIVE the knowledge and/or understanding, based on a starting-point of accepting myself as knowledge that gives me the gift of living my words as LIFE, therefore, I no longer lose or gain anything.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if I do not take the time to stand within and as myself to LIVE my words as who I am as LIFE, then I don’t SEE myself but only create destruction upon this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to LOSE myself within knowledge and/or understanding that I don’t allow myself to SEE this physical reality because of knowledge and/or understanding, as all the parts that I have separated myself into and as. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create, manifest and go into and experience of wanting/needing and desiring to gain knowledge and/or understanding of/as LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my reactions of wanting/needing and desiring to gain knowledge and/or understanding of/as LIFE of being directed by/through how screwed up the world is, never actually changing MYSELF and correcting MYSELF to actually LIVE the knowledge and/or understanding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define LIFE as knowledge and/or information within and as separation, wherein - I lose myself, not seeing/realizing and understanding that every time when I’m losing myself within the actuality of the substance as who I am as life, I’m merely sucking away the very life essence I am, by/through leeching off of energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself as LIFE from the physical, by/through leeching off of the physical within the means of energy to fulfill myself to actually SEE myself as Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only consider LIFE as an endless loophole of something outward to entertain oneself with, look at and define LIFE from an endless loophole that is always outward, never considering that LIFE is merely a theme park of fun and games to never actually see the actual picture, for/as your constantly stuck in the endless loophole of the theme park and you don’t know when your going to wake up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself into believing that I am incapable of getting out of the theme park full of the loopholes and coasters to actually get real into this reality and wake up from this loophole of entertainment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose myself within participating in the mind, instead - I haven’t realized for myself the actuality of the physical substance is who I am as life into consideration, wherein - I allowed myself to participate in energetic means to fulfill myself to not actually SEE myself as Life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that to fulfill myself to not actually fill myself with LIFE, within and as actually feeling the physical pain that my physical body is experiencing, that I’m not SEEING myself as life as who I really am.

I commit myself to NOT look outside myself for/as knowledge and/or understanding that isn’t actually LIVED or within the starting-point of trying to make LIFE into some complex equation to NOT actually look at what is HERE in this physical reality and to actually SEE ourselves as LIFE as who we really are.

I commit myself to investigate myself as who I am as LIFE, for/as LIFE to actually SEE myself as LIFE, for the very first time and actually see this world and reality, not being blind knowledge and/or understanding.

I commit myself to SEE myself as Life in every possible way how I have used/abuse knowledge and/or understanding in the name of LIFE.

I commit myself to stop myself when I am trying to find LIFE within knowledge and/or understanding that I am NOT living and to focus on myself as LIFE to actually SEE myself as LIFE, for/as there will be nowhere to find LIFE because it will always be HERE within and as myself, in self-awareness.