6:24 PM

Day 6: Self-Agreement as Another


When my partner did not fulfill my want/need/desire of being, ‘whole,’ during the relationship that I self-created through my mind, the primary backchat comes up.
“I’m always going to be alone”
“Relationships are always going to be meaningless if I cannot even be with myself”
“I cannot connect with anyone so there must be something wrong with me”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the expectation of myself and my partner that everything will be more, ‘whole.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my mind create fantasies that someone/something outside myself will make me more, ‘whole,’ instead of realizing that I’m separating myself from myself onto others.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see/realize or understand that when I’m moulding/forming relationships inside my head, I’m actually separating myself from others by not seeing/realizing or understanding that I’m one and equal to that person, thus, nothing can change, but actual myself being the self-directive principle of my reality.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to self-realize for myself that I’m not allowing myself to actually grow, develop and expand with me and my Partner because of constantly searching for something outside myself to make myself feel, ‘whole.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that I must search for a relationship outside myself to make me feel, ‘whole,’ when in actuality not seeing/realizing or understanding that everything is HERE.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to self-realize that in always expecting myself and my partner to be, ‘whole,’ I’m actually not considering the polarity of wholeness/emptiness that always leads to endless patterns of self-sabotage.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to self-realize, that in always expecting myself and my partner to be, ‘whole,’ I’m actually self-sabotaging my own self-agreement and my partner’s self-agreement to grow, develop and expand, thus, being actual beings that are really walking, ‘wholeness,’ of and as Oneness & Equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the backchat “I’m always going to be alone” to exist within and as me towards my partner not making me feel, ‘whole.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the backchat “I’m always going to be alone” trigger blame/anger towards my partner not making me feel, ‘whole,’ but, ‘empty.’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe that my partner is making me feel ‘empty,’ so I don’t have to see/realize or understand that I’m abdicating self-responsibility by participating in blame/anger towards my partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the backchat “I’m always going to be alone” to the interconnections of emotional reactions of blame/anger, by not experiencing myself as, ‘whole,’ but, ‘empty.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the backchat “I’m always going to be alone” to exist within and as me towards my partner making me feel, ‘empty.’

I forgive myself that I didn’t accept or allow myself to tell my partner about my, ‘emptiness,’ for getting to that actual cause and creating a solution, but instead allowed myself to immediately react with the backchat “I’m always going to be alone.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to emotional react through blame/anger towards my partner not making me feel more, ‘whole,’ but instead make assumptions through the backchat “I’m always going to be alone.”

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed the backchat “Relationships are always going to be meaningless if I cannot even be with myself” to exist within and as me towards my partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the backchat “Relationships are always going to be meaningless if I cannot be with myself” to self-direct me, instead of actually self-realizing for myself that everything is going to be meaningless through relationships if I don’t allow myself to see myself in another, thus, I’m always with myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to self-realize for myself that through the backchat “Relationships are always going to be meaningless if I cannot be with myself” I’m actually not seeing/realizing or understanding that I’m self-sabotaging myself in relationships in the hopes of, ‘finding myself,’ sort of speak.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that when being in a relationship its not about looking for energy to find meaning from another, BUT to actually allow myself to see myself everywhere and with anyone to become an eventual stable agreement that is best for ALL.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to self-realize for myself that participating in the backchat “I cannot connect with anyone so there must be something wrong with me” is a flag-point for myself to actually see/realize and understand that when I’m allowing myself to participate in self-victimization/self-defeat, I’m actually not allowing myself to connect with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the backchat “I cannot connect with anyone so there must be something wrong with me” towards myself and my partner because I actually don’t want to stand up and find a solution with my partner, BUT look for faults in myself that I apparently can’t change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a relationship to try and feel, ‘whole,’ when I cannot not allow myself to connect with myself for what is HERE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate my partner/relationship and myself from the starting-point of transference of energy, rather than actually cross-referencing our points and making a stable agreement that will stand the test of time, for what is best for ALL.

I realize that when expectations are not communicated they become backchat and suppressed, then creates internal/external conflict with myself and my partner.

I realize, that if I simple communicated with my partner about my, ‘emptiness,’ then it would allow an actual solution for the both of us, instead create backchat and suppression for myself and my partner.

I realize, that if I’m actually open and direct with my partner, then I don’t have to harbour these emotions of blame/anger towards my partner and myself of not experiencing myself as, ‘whole.’

I realize, that if I’m experiencing this, ‘emptiness,’ and also through the relationship towards my partner, then maybe he is as well and we can actually communicate and be self-honest with each other, thus, creating a stable foundation for ourselves, as ALL as ONE as EQUAL.

When and as I see such expectations come up with my partner, I stop, I breathe, I bring myself back here, I direct myself to communicate with my partner openly and honestly, instead of participating in backchat that only leads to suppression and internal-external conflict for myself and my partner. With communicating about my partner about, ‘emptiness,’ or ‘wholeness,’ or anything based on abuse, we’ll communicate as equals, for the very first time.

When and as I go into anger/blame within myself towards my Partner, I immediately stop and breathe and I investigate where this blame/anger is coming up for wanting/needing/desiring to experience myself as, 'whole,' within communication with my Partner, wherein I'm actually taking self-responsibility for me/my world within the very aspect/part I'm blaming for. Within this I stop the backchat towards my partner and actually take self-responsibility for me world/reality and that includes relationships that I have self-created in my mind, actually seeing/realizing/understanding I'm not actually facing myself through wanting/needing/desiring a partner and so I actually slowly but surely accumulate a self-agreement supporting myself as another, walking together for the very first time accumulating ourselves.

When and as I see such expectations of wanting/needing/desiring to accumulate, 'wholeness,' within energy when I'm with my partner I see/realize/understand that I'm not being one and equal with myself as another, but mind-projecting my own delusions/illusions from someone separate from me that I'm self-creating in my mind, instead of actually seeing/realizing/understanding that if I stand one and equal to whom ever that I'm in agreement with, I see/realize/understand this this isn't a relationship built upon lies and deceit for wanting/needing/desiring energy, but an actual self-support platform for each other and re-creating ourselves as ourselves, as each other for the very first time. Within this I stop the backchat towards my partner and actually see/realize/understand that my partner is an actual person just like me, one and equal, thus, mind-projecting my own aspects/parts of myself that I haven't become one and equal to through self-sabotaging myself and my partner's own individual process will own diminish/compromise each other, therefore we establish ourselves slowly but surely accumulating a self-agreement supporting myself as another, walking together for the very first time accumulating ourselves.






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