10:57 PM

Day 8: Have you Breathed Today?



As of lately, I've been participating in overwhelmingness because of every part/aspect of my life seems to be, 'getting to me,' to keeping up with my assignments for DIP to getting everything done in the Agreement Course, and to keep my grades consistent in College, so, I can graduate early. A part of myself thinks and believes that I'm biting off more than I can chew, but I see/realize and understand that this is my backchat taking hold of me, within my own allowance to not actually be the Creator of my Physical Reality, to actually look at myself in essence, to actually look at what consists of my day that isn't what is best for me, thus, self-correcting my movement and to actually change.

I was keeping lists but I utilized everything as an actual chore and/or burden to not actually walk what I must do in my day and having absolutely NO excuses, but not being hard on myself at the same time. Walking this process in, 'gentle brutality,' by/through being absolutely self-honest within every action that I take, because every action that I take within actually self-awareness of breathing, I'm not missing anything, because everything is HERE; yet, in actuality seeing/realizing and understanding that in order to walk this process, I MUST be gentle with myself and not condemn myself for what I have allowed myself to be and become.

At the same time, I'm afraid of actually LIVING self-discipline, because I would then not be consistently be living within my bubble of consciousness to hide away everything that I can actually live up to be and become, being and becoming LIFE to actually breathe, to actually give myself the time to breathe and walk what I MUST walk.

What else is there to do?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and alowed myself to think and believe that I am unable to move myself effectively, because of believing/deceiving myself that I cannot be the Creator of my Life, by/through assuming that effectively making lists, then interating them into my physical reality is too difficult for myself and that I cannot be the Creator of my Life, unless someone apparently helps me outside myself.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to actually consider that if I'm not going to actually move myself to actually LIVE the lists that I create to actually create my world/reality, then I'm not in anyway taking self-responsibility, being the self-directive principle of myself within what is Best for ALL.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harbour the emotional reaction of/as, 'overwhelmingness,' wherein only I allow my backchat to be the Creator of my Life and not actually seeing/realizing and understanding that when I'm thinking and believing that my backchat is actual real, in-fact I'm not actually considering - CONsideration, to actually be and become the Creator of my Life as the self-directive principe, that I know I can be and become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that by habouring the emotional reation of, 'overwhlemingness,' is actually, 'out of my hands,' when in-fact I am taking away my power to be and become the Creator of my Life and abdicating what is HERE in the physical as stability and self-trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being self-disciplined.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself think and believe if sit around and complain about not being the Creator my Life, then someone could take pity on me and magically help me save my ass, wherein is no different then praying to some ASScender to come and help me, because apparently I'm, 'biting off more than I can chew.'

I forgive myself that I have acepted and allowed myself to think and believe I'm, 'biting off more than I can chew,' wherein I'm not actually taking the time to actually walk the lists that I make within my physical reality, but focusing on complaining and hoping for someone to take pity on me and magically save my ass.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for someone to save my ass.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire a ASScender to magically help me, while I cannot even allow myself to help myself.

I commit myself to integrate and actually do the lists effectively, but still remember to keep the list as realistic as possible for myself to actually walk and create NO backdoors for myself to fall into.

I commit myself to stop complainin and oping for someone to take pity on me an magically save my ass. The person we need on this Earth is another ASScender.

I commit myself to not screw with myself and think/believe that I'm not capable of changing my world and reality.

I commit myself to stop using/abusing overwhelmingness as a backdoor to justify myself to actually take self-responsibility and create NO backdoors for myself to fall into.

I commit myself to self-discipline.

I commit myself to myself integrating self-discipline witin myself - One and Equal to LIFE as Actual Breathing.

Have you breathed today?

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