10:11 PM

Day 12: SCHOOL


Today I have school and all the other days as well, though every time when its almost time for school I become nervous/anxious/stressed by this idea that I mind-projected towards going to school. As though this idea that I created of school has power over me because of believing that school is something that is superior to me through placing this idea that I’m inferior/stupid and don’t belong in school. When I go to school I imagine everyone staring at me and judging me and the teachers yelling at me because I’m apparently so inferior/stupid and don’t belong in school.

I see/realize that having this idea of the entire school construct is only belittling/self-diminishing myself, but I allow myself to continue participating in this time-loop of self-judgment because then I wouldn’t have to take self-responsibility for myself remaining HERE in every moment of breath. I’m allowing myself to let my nervousness/anxiousness/stress become the directive principle of myself, which is always the mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become nervous/anxious/stressed by an idea that I mind-projected towards school.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to self-realize for myself that giving nervousness/anxiousness/stress power over myself is believing that school is something superior to me,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive/define that school is superior to me because of this idea that I’m inferior/stupid and don’t belong in school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine everyone staring at me and judging me and the teachers yelling at me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine everyone starting at me and judging me because I’m apparently so inferior/stupid and don’t belong in school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine everyone staring at me and judging me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine people staring at me and judging me and reacting within nervousness/anxiousness/stress because apparently I’m so inferior/stupid and don’t belong in school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have an idea of people staring at me and judging me when I know it only leads to belittling/self-diminishing myself to continue participating in the time-loop of self-judgment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the time-loop of self-judgment/facial expressions of people staring at me and judging me when I know its self-sabotage and self-defining people’s stares/body-language as something equal to myself of the mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in self-sabotage.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in self-sabotage of people’s self-judgment/facial expressions of people staring at me and judging me.

I forgive for not allowing myself to self-realize for myself, rather than KNOW through knowledge/information that when people are apparently staring at me and judging me I allow myself to self-realize for myself that its all about self-defining myself one and equal to the mind of people’s self-judgment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in self-defining myself by people’s stares/body-language/facial expressions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine teachers yelling at me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine teachers yelling at me and judging me and reacting within nervousness/anxiousness/stress because apparently I’m so inferior/stupid and don’t belong in school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have an idea of teachers yelling at me and judging me when I know it only leads to belittling/self-diminishing myself to continue participating in the time-loop of self-judgment.

Procedure for Redefining a Word
SCHOOL
1. Gathering information
d. Establishing self’s allocation point-I have experienced anxiety/stress/anxiousness because I allow myself to believe/deceive myself that I’m too inferior/stupid to be in school. I allowed myself to be the receiver of the word SCHOOL through the mind because believing/deceiving myself that I cannot ‘bring my power back’. The definition I have given the word SCHOOL is a complete place where I cannot express myself unconditionally and not giving into the mind of emotions through anxiety/anxiousness/stress.

B. Dictionary Definition
school
1 [skool]
noun1.an institution where instruction is given, especially to persons under college age: The children are at school.
2.an institution for instruction in a particular skill or field.
3.a college or university.
4.a regular course of meetings of a teacher or teachers and students for instruction; program of instruction: summerschool.
5.a session of such a course: no school today; to be kept afterschool.

E. Sound the word- Sch-ool, skool, skool cool, skool hole, skool whole, cool hole, cool whole
2. Investigate the information of the word that has been gathered


Does the definition within the different aspects that you have gathered as
information of the word, carry a polarity charge (is it made ‘good’/’positive’ or
‘bad’/’negative’)?


This can be determined by looking at:
A. Personal Experiences of the word SCHOOL- Within the word SCHOOL I’m not allowing myself to see/realize or understand that the experience I have to the word SCHOOL is separation of everyone around me as the WHOLE of school, instead reacting through fear that someone/something is going to harm me and I cannot do anything about it because I’m powerless to the emotions of anxiety/stress/anxiousness, by believing/deceiving myself that I’m separate from my emotions. Through sounding the word SCHOOL I see/realize and understand that I’m allowing myself to self-create a hole of the whole of allowing separation of self. 
B. How you have interpreted the word as ‘good’/positive or ‘bad’/’ negative? Negative-because I’m allowing myself to have a negative charge to the word SCHOOL, by having this idea that school is a place where I don’t belong because apparently I’m too inferior/stupid to belong in the school. Obviously, belittling/self-diminishing myself because allowing myself to believe that I’m nothing and everyone else is everything, which is drastic separation of self.
C. What associations do you have with the word? Being in kindergarten, and the teacher making me say the ABC’s to the class when she knew that I didn’t know them at the time. Leading, towards her wanting to fail me and make me take kindergarten all over again. This represents myself being inferior/stupid in SCHOOL that I have self-defined, as myself.
Do you feel better or worse when you are using or experiencing this word? Worse-experience is within fear of this word.

3. New Definition

A. SCHOOL, Creating Writing: SCHOOL in the future for an Equal Money System I can see/realize and understand won’t be based on knowledge/information and based on competition and inferiority/superiority and stupidity/intelligence, but an Education where we cannot learn about ourselves , as LIFE. And to establish oneness and equality where we can allow ourselves to see others as ourselves, by not allowing ourselves to let knowledge/information become some empty and something we have to live up to, but to actually live our words through oneness and equality, as the expression of LIFE. SCHOOL is part of the whole and so I allow myself to self-realize this by Equality & Oneness for what is best for ALL.
B. Writing the Definition: SCHOOL is a place where be can live our words as ourselves.

4. Checking the Definition:
A. Is there a polarity in the definition that I have assigned to the word? No.
B. Can I stand by this definition of the word eternally? Yes.
C. Does the definition that I wrote represent what the word means? Yes.

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