Day 14: Regurgitating Information Equalizing Self-Judgment
I've been suppressing to write myself out because of continually and consistently that I will waste my time because of experiencing myself as regurgitating information to not actually write myself out but participate in self-judgment of what I'm writing and, 'who I am,' within writing myself out for NOT allowing myself to realize for myself that writing myself out is for myself and myself, only.
When and as I see myself continually and consistently wasting my time because of writing from a starting point of self-judgment, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back HERE. I see and realize that experiencing myself as regurgitating information to NOT actually write myself out is not an actual solution but merely stating that I'm being trolled by Control - instead, I investigate what it is I self-judge about myself to assist myself in writing myself out for supporting myself to move myself and correct these points of going into the mind because of thinking and believing I'm inferior.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow regurgitating information to exist within and as me, in separation of me because I've NOT allowed myself to realize that if I'm allowing myself to participate in regurgitating information because I find it very difficult for myself to remain HERE to stop in every moment to actually see/realize and understand that if its easy for myself to consistently and continuously go into my mind when I'm writing it obviously is a flag-point for myself to breathe to see how and why I've missed myself, in a moment that could've been spent in the physical to actually breathe.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to leave a back door for mistakes through always experiencing myself as regurgitating information to not actually write out myself for myself but participate in self-judgment of what I'm writing and, 'who I am,' within writing myself out, instead of walking HERE in the REALity, walking in self-trust and effectively planning that which I'm participating with and get to the center of the totality of myself to be and become the self-directive principle of myself and my world.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT see writing as a simple point of standing HERE, in simplicity for trusting myself by/through each and every breath I take to take my power back to myself - wherein, I give myself the power to be and become the self-directive principle of myself, within self-trust in every moment of every breath to NOT allow myself to access self-judgment - when and as I'm writing, I access self-trust where I'll walk what I MUST walk, within writing myself to freedom.
I forgive myself that I've have accepted and allowed myself to direct myself accordingly and in relation to regurgitating information and in relation to experiencing myself as being judged as a point of direction based, of and as separation of and from myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself from walking within and as writing myself to freedom, through seeing that I'm inferior to what I'm writing and, 'who I am,' within my writing - through actually stating and accepting that I am not already here, therefore, I must and can only write regurgitated words that have no meaning or value - while I am in fact participating in polarity of "good" and "bad", because I am not being self-honest about who I am, and what I'm actually writing when I'm regurgitating information, as who I have allow myself to be and instead accepted myself to merely be and become knowledge, to NOT allow myself to realize that I'm abusing myself to NOT take the time to become self-honest and support a LIFE that is best for ALL.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate in writing that has no regard for LIFE but consistently and continuously harm myself and this world/reality, in the name of LIFE - where knowledge is placed before LIFE, where LIFE has become nothing more and nothing less than NOTHINGNESS, and thus life and knowledge has been disregarded to a point where we as human beings don't realize that we're completely separate from LIFE and KnowLEDGE.
When and as I see myself going into self-judgment for myself writing everything out, I stop, I breathe, and I bring myself back HERE to remind myself that self-judgment is but a reaction to NOT embracing to be and become NOTHINGNESS to place LIFE, one and equal as Know-LEDGE, meaning I LIVE the KnowLEDGE, I stop self-judgment, I breathe, I stand up and I start walking, breath by breath, in NOTHINGNESS until nothing but NOTHINGNESS remains.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to regard myself as KnowLEDGE -instead of realizing for myself that I'm disregarding LIFE to believe that I am dependent and nothing more and nothing less than NOTHINGNESS to NOT see/realize and understand the real NOTHINGNESS of being HERE and existing HERE.
I commit myself to re-establishing myself from NOTHINGNESS to never disregard KnowLEDGE or LIFE - equal and one- so that I am able to apply myself towards LIVING knowledge to the NOTHINGNESS, as/for LIFE for the value of LIVING is actual LIFE.
I commit myself to investigate and come to know how I've deceived/believed myself that regurgitating information is due to a sabotage pattern of "good" or "bad" of self-judgment in my mind have accumulated and manifested a world where the value of LIVING is NOT Life.
I commit myself to take responsibility for myself to regard LIFE as living KnowLEDGE into a LIVING being instead of continuing to exist as regurgitated broken record of KnowLEDGE and not LIFE.